In thinking about it…

December 31st, 2011

I’ve never felt very connected to my name. I’ve had so many nicknames, that my actual name is something I don’t feel is precious. I actually wait to see how long it takes people to start shortening my first name. Everyone does. Rarely does anyone use my full first name unless I’m in a business meeting, or I’m in trouble. I have close friends that can’t pronounce my last name correctly. I’ll never tell them, because I don’t connect to it in any sort of close way, so I don’t care. The only person I share a last name with that matters is my brother. None of the rest of my family has it.

However, I’m really glad I have an unusual name. Seriously. Both my first and last names are unusual…not so much so that people think I’m the child of a self involved Hollywood star that has no concern for the mockery of their child, but enough so that when people hear or see my name….no matter how long it’s been, they know it’s me.

Case in point. I keep this blog. I recently got a comment from someone I haven’t seen since I was in college. In high school, we were good friends. His house was the first I had ever seen a Mork style egg chair in. He introduced me to a ton of music. We went to the beach…a lot. His was the first family I ever saw have a vacation itinerary written up for travel. I think of it now every time I travel, and make no plans…

He was a couple grades above me, and left for college. We kept in touch, but the last time we saw each other was one day when I was driving with some friends down the Haight in SF, and he was wandering down the street. I was looking out the passenger window, and yelled “STOP!!!”

Jumping out, I ran up to him, and we gave each other huge hugs. Talked for a couple of minutes, but I had to jump back in the car as we were headed to a theater performance.

And we haven’t talked since. Not for any reason except losing touch. Life. You know.

And then, a month ago…he saw my name on a film I did. And looked me up. And apparently found this blog.

My heart warmed. And it was because of my name.

So, I guess I need to learn to connect to my name. Not because of what it has meant, but because of what it means now. There’s a calculator online that will tell you how many people in the world have your name combination. For my first and last name, the answer was 1. In the world, just me. The only one.

So if you want to find me, I guess all you have to do is look. It’s only me out here.

And Mike…I’m so glad you got in touch.

Ten years ago

September 11th, 2011

This isn’t the first post about what happened 10 years ago you’ll read today, and I’m sure it’s not the last. But it’s mine.

The landline rang and I groggily raised my head. Knowing the voice mail would pick up, I tried to stay awake enough to hear what was so important as to wake me up this early in the morning. The caller hung up before leaving a message. A few seconds later, a cell phone rang. Not mine because it was turned off. The Bald Man was crashing at my place for a few weeks before he moved back to Houston, and it was his distinctive ring that was going off in the other room. A few seconds later, the banging on my door began. “D, D, get up. Now.” The door flew open. “We’re being bombed!” All of a sudden I was wide awake. The Bald Man threw me the phone, where Mr. Gazpacho was calling from Spain. “Dude, turn on your tv, call me back later.” I flew out of bed, and the Bald Man and I began to watch the horrific footage.

We sat mostly in stunned silence, as the scene continued to unfold. We talked little, but most of the conversation revolved around being in the center of what, very likely, could be another target. We tried to call everyone we knew was in NY, and those that were traveling, but we weren’t sure where exactly they were. We got through to only a few. My neighbor’s cell phone began to ring, waking him up. He knocked on the door, asking to come in and watch, as he didn’t have a television at the time. We all three sat in silence. I watched the television, and I watched as the two transplanted New Yorkers in my living room watched their home city be under attack.

It was the second day of a 5 day voice-over job. I called the studio, to confirm that production was shut down for the day. The producer giggled nervously. “Did you know anyone in there?” “I…I don’t think so” – it would be almost 24 hours before I learned that I was wrong. The director was from a war torn country in South America. Terrorism was commonplace to him. The voice session was still on.

I drove to the valley, not able to stop my eyes from constantly darting up to the sky. The calls were starting to pour in from everyone in town. Was everyone ok? Were we all meeting up somewhere? The Sound Engineer was out in Calabasas, and wanted me to come out there to be away from the middle of the city, but my job called. I walked into the voice studio, and turned off my phone, realizing that in doing that, I was cutting off my lifeline to hear what was happening not only in New York, but everywhere else in the country.

The project was “The Color of War” The copy I was doing v.o. for was to go along with some of the first color and colorized footage of a war retrospective. The copy consisted only of letters. Letter written from wives to husbands telling of their fears. From daughters to fathers, telling how much they missed them. From mothers to sons; old friends to old friends. And I wept. Sixteen different letters and nine accents later I was wrapped for the day. My heart was broken, as were the capillaries in my eyes from crying. The emotion in my voice was real as I read letter after letter bemoaning the tragedy of war, and the terror that comes along with it.

I walked out of the studio, and knew I wasn’t ready to go home. I needed to be anonymous in my grief that was so mixed up between what had happened that morning, and what has always happened. I walked across the street and into a small english pub and sat without taking my sunglasses off. There were four screens on. Three of them were tuned to the footage and commentary. One was still tuned to a replay of a soccer match. The englishmen at the bar started going seamlessly between watching the constant coverage, and watching a game. It was the first inkling I had that things might eventually go back to feeling normal.

When your money actually matters

July 16th, 2011

As I’m sure all of you who know me are well aware, July 22 is a pretty big day. A film I produced, A Little Help, is opening up in 12 cities, and 13 more on July 29, for a grand total of 25 cities that we are guaranteed to open in. Is it a big opening? Well, it’s certainly not the smallest I’ve been involved in…nor the biggest…but it is truly one that I am personally asking each and every one of you to find time in the first weekend it’s in your city to go see.

Now for those of you who aren’t in the film world (or even some of you who are), you may not realize exactly what it takes to get a film out there. Most “independents” that you see come out in theaters (Juno, Black Swan, Little Miss Sunshine) are backed by an indie division of a major studio. Actually in all three of those cases, it’s Fox. So even if the production budget was relatively low, there is a ton of money thrown at the marketing and distribution.

Now with a truly independent film, like A Little Help, first we raised the production finance. No small task. It took us 18 months, and 3 separate collapsed deals to finish of the finance of the film. After the film was shot and posted, our sales agent started shopping it to domestic distributors. Did they like it? Very much so. Enough that we got a couple of offers on it. The problem? The offers sucked – taking most of the upside from our investors, and not advancing enough to make it a worthwhile proposition. They were the kind of offers that make investors in independent films get burned. Where the movie could have made 20 million in theaters, and the investors still may not have been made whole. So, while having these offers in play, we did the other thing that can be done in today’s film marketplace. We raised our own P&A (Prints and advertising, the money spent to distribute and market a film) Our investors saw the difference in what the upside would be if we did NOT give away the majority of the film to one of the offers that had come in.

So, we now have a limited bucket of money to put the film out there, and promote the film. I’m super grateful we’ve been able to figure out how to still be effective over those 25 markets, but the fact is, there’s no way to afford a media blitz. We’re buying 1 primetime commercial instead of the 8 Sony can buy. Our street teams are out, our promo videos are launched, our press day interviews are going to print…but it’s never going to be the kind of saturation a studio can buy. So part of what we rely on is word of mouth. Me asking you (yes, you) to go. And you going. And then telling people if you liked it.

See, with this kind of independent finance, sometimes the film can keep going as long as it’s making financial sense to the investors. So if our weekend per screen averages are high, will we go into more markets? Super probable. More screens in the markets we’re already in? Highly likely.

When you go to the theater, it’s easy to think that you are just handing money off to large corporations where it doesn’t make a difference. But with this, you can help have a direct effect on the success of the movie. And honestly, you’ll have a direct effect on the success of my business. Happy investors = more investment = making more films = good business.

And it’s a good film. But don’t just trust my word on that, go see it for yourself.

Here’s where you can find where it’s playing: http://alittlehelpthemovie.com/theatres/

and here is the Jakob Dylan music video with one of the original songs he wrote for the movie:

The big news…becoming an additional hyphenate

February 28th, 2011

So, the past week was spent up in a beautiful little town called Charlevoix. Lovely and serene, it’s the place where people who find Traverse City too cosmopolitan have their summer homes. Of course, I was there in the middle of the winter. Which means it’s empty, filled with trees which looked like dead stalks as far as the eye could see, and patches of snow increasing the desolate and empty feel.

In other words…the perfect place to shoot a horror film.

Now for those of you who know me, you know what a genre junkie I am. 2 am is as likely to find me curled up watching an Ahn Byeong-ki film as it is to find me asleep. Which makes it all the more exciting to give the bigger part of the news:

I’M DIRECTING THIS FUCKER! FUCK YEAH!

Oh, did I mention I’m excited? See, we all shot a million shorts in college and grad school. Directed plays and short pieces. And as a producer – more often than not – you collaborate with your director in designing shots, shaping performances, locations, and key hires. And if your director sucks…well, you end up doing even more of it to make sure the film is still good.

So, we’re still finishing up the details – but the financing is closed, and pre-pro will begin in the next few weeks. I’m exhilarated, exhausted, excited, and to be quite frank, a little scared too.

And I love it.

something is totally going to come through these woods and eat you.

Remember when I said a while ago that I expected my life at the end of 2011 to look very different than it did at the beginning? This is a huge step towards that. I decided to make my 2011 the year of no excuses. Too often I line up my life like dominoes. I will do D after I do C, and definitely after B. However, too often this way of thinking becomes an excuse for putting off D because B and C aren’t perfect yet. And to that end, fuck it. When I was talking to a financier who believed in me enough to put money into something I would be producing, I decided to jump off the deep end, and see if they would support me as a director also.

The non-hesitation astounded me. Apparently, the only person getting in my way of doing this was me. By not asking. Take that, 2011.

Living out loud

January 20th, 2011

So…this blog was about half written, and something happened to make me want to finish it, and also push it ahead of another blog that had been percolating for a while in my head.

See, I have a theory. In the world of nearly immediate access to information about almost anyone you care to get information about…don’t be an asshole. Everything that has transpired for the past ten years in technology makes everyone susceptible to anyone and everyone knowing their business nearly immediately. So how about this – live like you already know everyone around you will know everything about you.

This was inspired by something that happened over the summer. My twitter feed has always been public. I don’t say things I wouldn’t want anyone in my personal or professional life to read. (so all you lurkers, both on my blog and my twitter – feel free to engage-whether I know you or not) While I was in Michigan shooting the last movie, there were, to put it mildly, some problems on the set. We had problems with a couple of departments, and it wasn’t the smoothest production in the world. Did some of this end up on my twitter? Well, kind of. In very general terms, I would put stuff like “I forgot pre-pro on kids movies is 20 hour days” <—- the truth, not specific to this movie, or “Clusterfuck is one way to describe it” Now, very consciously, there was never any mention of any specifics EXCEPT in a good way. And I gave plenty of those. Pics of the teams, lauding performances, specifics came with praise. Always.
Barry...hard at work

Barry Bostwick – my favorite. Great performer, and great guy

And then one day I got a call from someone. “XXX XXX on your set is made uncomfortable by your twitter” Wow. ok. So, I took it, and made it private. Now the only people who could read it were people I knew were reading it.
And I resented it.
See, here’s the thing. The person who was made uncomfortable was one of the people who was fucking up on the shoot. There was nothing specifically positive that had been said about this person. And the things that weren’t positive could have been attributed to a million factors. In fact, there were a million factors. But here was this one person…taking it personally. Why? Because this person was fucking up. And I guarantee this person knew it. So while, quite frankly, nothing I said was directed towards this person, this person had overlaid their personal awareness of poor performance on what had been said.
Kid actors need to learn all the jobs!

Teaching our lead kid actor the other important jobs on set

Which reinforces my belief. Personally and professionally – live like everyone is going to know what you’re doing and how you’re doing it at all times.  Maybe people will, and maybe people won’t…but if you’re never doing anything you would be ashamed other people knew about – then you’ll never be ashamed if they do know.

So, my twitter is back to being public. People know who this blog belongs to. And I’ll continue to, while being polite and nice, say what is actually going on.

So here’s a suggestion – do your fucking job. Don’t be an asshole. Today’s life is no longer lived in private, and if your own conscious wasn’t enough to make you act right…well, maybe that will be a side benefit of the digital age. Shame.

Waiter Races!

January 12th, 2011

Two photos I shot were just purchased by a travel book about unusual events around the United States. They are photos I took at a Bastille Day waiter race. What’s a waiter race? Well, it’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Waiters put a couple of things on a service tray – usually glasses of liquid – and run a course trying not to spill. Of course, Bastille Day, the day commemorating the storming of the Bastille and the uprising of a modern nation, makes perfect sense as a natural place to hold these. Cause, you know, revolutionaries love really fast service.

Now, those of you who know me personally know my absolute love of the absurd. Strange events, odd happenings, unique places? Count me in! Therefore, to have pictures bought by a book about just such things feels like a personal moral victory about indulging my time in seeking out such things.

To be quite frank…I don’t love the pictures. They were more of snaps I took on auto settings, rather than actual thought through photos.

Waiter Race

Waiter Race Winner!

This totals 7 pics that have now been bought for everything from travel guides, to art institutes, to books. Woo-hoo! Now, not that I’m looking to start shooting professionally, but it’s something that I’ve come to really enjoy, that I haven’t been doing enough of. To be honest, having been a filmmaker for as long as I have, it doesn’t shock me that photography is something that comes fairly naturally to me…I see the world in pictures…I always have. BUT…the fact that other people like them? That, I’m pleasantly surprised by. Hell, I’m always pleasantly surprised when people like films I’ve done. I suppose I need to work on my ego and hubris. Especially if I want to move up in the industry.

I didn’t shoot a lot last year, in fact there are things I did that I didn’t take a single shot of. Mackinac Island – not a single picture. Frankenmuth – the first time I went there, not a single one. Toronto – yup, again, zero pictures. I’m not even sure if I shot anything of Napa or Phoenix when I was there. I am going to actually go through the 700 pictures I did get in the past 8 months, and get back to putting them up regularly.

Down for Life – theatrical premiere

January 10th, 2011

In the theme of 2011 being incredibly different from 2010 – we’re starting out January with a bang. This weekend, a film I co-produced has it’s theatrical premiere. So if you’re in Texas, go to the opening weekend… seriously. Opening weekend is make or break for theatrical indie films. Not bullshit “Fox Searchlight” indie films that have a 15 million dollar P&A budget, but real indie films. Seriously. The opening weekend often determines if it goes wider at all, or stays in theaters. For those of you interested in how some of this stuff actually works – films like this raise a limited P&A budget, and determine a release plan. This release plan often includes the measured ability to “platform” or take it theatrical to more markets then it starts out in. However, this comes with a caveat. The platforming usually won’t happen if the film doesn’t make certain dollar amount per screen averages in the places it first opens in.  So you, as a consumer of film, have a direct effect on the success of this kind of indie film. When you see something in your hometown that is being released by a non-major, if you are thinking about seeing it, go opening weekend. It’s the best way to directly support indie film – by raising the opening weekend per screen average.

Down For Life - Texas theatrical opening

Now, there is a ton more to say about this film. Anybody who knew me during the time I was running the theatrical division of the company that produced the film knows that that time changed my life, my view of Hollywood, and is what made me the producer I am today…committed to dealing with the industry with integrity, compassion, and honesty. At the end of the day…I’m proud of the story that came through in the film. The writer, the fabulous Trina Calderon, has a beautiful, true, real voice and I can honestly say it is a career highlight of mine to have found her, worked countless drafts with her, and forced her first film into existence.

So, I hope if you’re around where it is playing, you’ll go see it, and comment to let me know what you think.

New Year – get it together!

January 6th, 2011

2010 – where to start? Last year was a time of big change for me. Personally, professionally, emotionally, and intellectually. To say it was a difficult year would be an understatement. I buried one friend, and one acquaintance. I broke off a 3 year relationship. My business was sued and went all the way to trial. I fell in love and promptly had my trust horribly betrayed. I voluntarily moved out of the home I had lived in the longest in my entire life. I gave up my dogs. I spent half the year in the depressing wasteland known as suburban Detroit. I produced a film which was a constant battle on set and off every day. I watched as close friends went through divorces, lost parents, and lost jobs. I left 2010 feeling buffeted about by life in general.

Now this isn’t a feeling I’m comfortable with. I am not a victim of circumstance. I created a magical life which I (in general) love from a place of nothing. I take pride in the fact that my life is how I’ve decided to make it. So I was left wondering what I am supposed to be learning from the past year. I mean, for the love of God, people don’t have years like that for nothing…right?

But as I look back, I realize I also let the year affect me in ways I shouldn’t have. I practically stopped writing. I almost entirely stopped shooting pictures. I fell out of touch with some people who are very important to me. I stopped trying to grow my business, and just maintained. I can’t come up with a single new challenge I gave myself and took on. For the love of God, I didn’t even leave the country once last year. And none of that is “me”.

So, my 2011 is going to be about a year of rebuilding. Of putting my life back together in a new, better form than it has ever been. Because THAT, my friends, is what I do and who I am. I figure out solutions. I live with a smile on my face, embracing challenges and asking life “what else ya got for me?” That is the person I see in the mirror, not a person who just drifts through, taking what is handed. I self-identify as a risk taker, challenge seeker, problem solver, and joyful, joyful person. New home, new relationship, new ways of doing business. By the end of 2011, I expect my life will look nearly unrecognizable from where it is now.

good night, Gracie

September 1st, 2010

now I have a very specific “problem” with travel. The minute a planes engines fire up, a car’s key turns over, or a train pulls out of the station…I’m asleep before we are up to full speed. I have no idea if this “car-colepsy” comes from my childhood or from the year I spent commuting between San Francisco and Asia. All I know is that the minute that rumble of transportation starts, I’m asleep. I can’t remember the last time I felt a plane take off.

Now, in the actual travel part, it’s not a problem. There’s nothing more pleasant than going to sleep on one coast, and waking up on the other. It’s kinda like I’ve figured out teleportation.

The problem comes in when I need to stay awake during some part of travel. If I have work to do, something to read, or have to prep for whatever is going on on the other side of the travel. I find it nearly impossible to stay awake long enough to get anything done. So, I have to plan around my “disability” when traveling for work. Which means I’m often showing up at the airport exhausted. Which means I fall asleep faster.

Vicious cycle.

big sports

August 21st, 2010

It’s Saturday morning, and as I’m writing this, I’m on a conference call which will probably go on for hours. This upcoming week, we are shooting our big money scene where we are shooting in the Toledo Mudhens stadium, doubling it for a Major League stadium, and shooting a Home Run Derby which is the climax of the entire film. For a little movie like ours, this is a major undertaking.

We are shooting and crewing out of Detroit, and now we have logistically pick up the entire cast, crew, and equipment, move them to Toledo, shoot in a minor league stadium to double for a major league one, shoot half of the third act in 3 days, then pick back up and move back to Detroit. If that sounds like a logistical nightmare, you would be correct.

Baseball is hard to shoot for many reasons. A major one being that your players on the field are so spread out that coverage is a big issue. Now most of the baseball we are shooting is on Little League fields, which are sort of containable. But on a minor league field, it’s huge. So shot lists, storyboards, and a huge amount of planning is the only way we are going to get all of the story points we need to.

So we wake up, get on calls, and keep working through the weekend. Will it be successful? I think so. I wouldn’t be making this if I didn’t think it was going to be.