So, one of the reasons that I enjoy blogging is that I like having the opportunity to speak  my mind sometimes spontaneously about what is happening…and other times to give a bit more thought to it before I write it down.

And I like the option for all y’all to not know exactly which it is.

Right now I am thinking very deeply about being female in the industry, what that means, and what advantages it affords me.

You’ll notice I didn’t say disadvantages.

See, I don’t believe that there is a specific female disadvantage at anything (unless it is physically based. No, I can’t bench press what my male collegues can (but I can outrun them!)). It’s more that females refuse to understand their advantages, and use them to level the playing field.

I will say-unilaterally- you should always have (at least) one woman on the top level team. Why? Because it immediately breaks through the male dick wagging in a different way. It just…does. And if you’re going to call me sexist for saying that, well then so be it.

This is not my first industry I’ve been successful in. It’s not my first male dominated industry I’ve been successful in. It is, however, the first time I’ve been acutely aware of women crying out to be treated as equals. I don’t know if that is a difference in the industry, or in my awareness…I just know that I hear it now. And I hear it as grating nails on a chalkboard.

Wow! I get it! That sounds harsh!

Or, perhaps, it sounds just like most people hear those whinings.

See, I’ve never found any barriers based on that. But I’ve repeatedly seen women fall down because they won’t work 16 hour days for 10 years like men do. They have to take time out to put boyfriends in front of their work. And what is the dropout ratio of men vs women in the industry? Based just on my past experience with assistants and subordinates, I would always put my bet on men being in it for the long haul.

WAIT! Am I really being that harsh on women? Do I think we are destined to fail in the business world? No way. I just think we have to be realistic, because not being realistic hurts all of us.

Look around you at your 5 closest girlfriends. How many of them…honestly…if they married someone wealthy would want to leave the job they do? Or take it down to part time? or need to make some adjustments to schedule? Or take a lower paying job to do something more fufilling?  What about once they had a kid?

How would it change? Honestly? Not your idealized version of how it changes, but honestly.

We, as women, can stand here and say we are no different…but that’s a lie. It just…is.

These are realities that, as an employer, I deal with. And I have to place my bets on the people that make the most sense for me long term. Now, not that women don’t make sense to hire, but I (and they) have to understand the strategic advantages we afford.

Wait  a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute (as Eddie Murphy in Coming to America would say). Wasn’t this blog started out with the idea of “It’s more that females refuse to understand their advantages, and use them to level the playing field.”?

Why, yes! it was.

See, we have, overall, a way of breaking through barriers that men do not. A natural empathy that allows us to figure out other people’s needs. And, if you look at it, most of business is simply figuring out other people’s needs and meeting those needs. The cook that makes everyone forget they’re not eating steak because the stroganoff is so good is exercising the same skills that we can use in the boardroom.

And, women need to understand the dynamic we have with men. We are not the same. We can convince them, annoy them, press them, entice them, and beguile them in subtly different ways.

So, with all your intelligence and experience, take it and use it in your female way to get to the top.

Guys need you there.