I am currently holding in my hands the only copy of the rough/director’s first cut of A Little Help. Dropped off at my door late Friday night, I spent Saturday immersed in work far less interesting on an upcoming film project, so I wouldn’t let myself watch it until I got that finished and out the door. Which happend at 4:30am.
So, now I sit, on Sunday afternoon, and get ready to put it in the DVD player. I haven’t seen anything since the assembly stage, letting the editor and the director get to this first cut without me in the room at all.
This moment is a mix of excitement and terror. After all, this is the first look I get at a project which I have been working on for the past 2 1/2 years. I’ve been seeing this film in my mind for that long. Will it live up to the expectations that the dailies have set? Will the jokes and laughs hit as desired? Will it tonally be that fine line of comedy and pathos that we were trying for? The anticipation has made me a little queasy, and I’m writing to calm my stomach down before taking the leap into the next 2 hours. When you spend this much time, energy, and emotion trying to create a film, the idea of seeing a (semi)product is almost overwhelming. What if it’s really, really bad? What if it’s really, really good? Will I even be able to tell which it is after being so closely involved in every step?
It’s sitting in the DVD player as I write this, just waiting for me to finish up and hit play. Cross your fingers everyone…I know I am.
Tags: A Little Help, film, What do I do?, work life